​Do not ask for me

I heard through the grapevine 

That you’re around, 

Available 

And asking about me.
My first response 

Are the thoughts 

Of when you held me tight 

Whispering the things I wanted to hear.
I think about 

My hand

In between your thighs 

Hearing your gasps of pleasure, 
The way 

Your breathing intensifies 

In anticipation 

As I kiss your lips,
How safe I felt 

In those moments 

Believing all you told me

Without question.
Do I still believe 

That your words were pure?

Ashamed I admit 

Yes, I do.
Now in the same moment

I must also recall the reason

Why we are no longer,

Which is you and your ego.
I tried 

To open myself up for you,

To cast any doubt out from your mind,

Which I believed was working but you always told me otherwise.
I tried 

To distance myself, to walk away

But you hurt yourself

To keep my attention.
I was there for you,

Asking you to be there for me,

Waiting and wanting in vain

Because you couldn’t feel for me 
What I felt for you,

Instead you kept me 

In an unhealthy space

To ensure my compliance.
Hear my words,

As I say them from the depths of me,

This toxic drain you keep open

Is now and forever closed.
I have chosen 

To block it with the love I must find for myself,

So do not ask about me 

Because I have nothing for you.

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4 thoughts on “​Do not ask for me

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