An untitled struggle


Stop it,
Stop it I said.
Stop those piercing eye

From cutting deeper and deeper
Into my already wounded self-esteem.
Frivolously you laugh
You are the mocker of my life

Becoming powerfully soul destroying.
You are at present
Apart of my world
With every new day that comes,

Haunting me
A constant reminder
That I have faltered
Along my path.

Staring at my imperfections
When I wake up in the morning
Laughing at my confidence
When I go to sleep at night.

Why have I given this destruction so much power?
Because it is me,
Those tormenting eyes are mine staring from the mirror,
That menacing laugh coming from the inside with my own breath.

This is a part of me
That has become a manifestation
Of the negative energy in my life
That has been working overtime,

But I cannot let it turn my private space into a torture chamber.
Full of self judgment
Where the criteria is not of my own
But of the outside demons,

Those that do the real damage,
Because if a person is told something enough times
They start to wonder if it might be true,
And the moment they do that

Is the moment when they begin to embody
These intentionally hurtful spirits
And make take them as their own
Which is what has happened to me.

I have gone through the same situation,
Time and time,
I have been told the same thing
By the same people,

And I begun to believe
What I have been told,
What I have been forced to see,
Now that image is the one looking back at me,

Is this that moment of clarity?
Where for a split second
I can see my world clearly?
I hope so

Because I don’t know
How much more
Of the voices and stares
I can take…

Thank you for your continued support,

Matthew Myles


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