Part 3 – So this is me

I live my life the way that I feel,
Because I’m living to fulfill my own happiness.
Who I am has always been a foreign concept,
But for the first time I’m exploring the me that lies beneath the surface.

A new world of pleasurable desires,
Opening my eyes to sensations
I often dreamed of but
Never imagined could be apart of my realm of possibility.

This system of processing
Is not without its flaws.
It is not without cracks
That allow pain to seep through,

But I never claimed
That it was.
I am going about this path
The way that feels right to me.

Onlookers may see this life
And condemn the way in which
I choose to go about it
But they will never know the feeling of walking in my shoes.

I have begun to understand,
To appreciate
And to enforce
My self worth on my step towards this new chapter.

I have gained a self respect
That will allow my heart to open,
I have gained the confidence to declare I won’t settle for what I do not want
Because now I know if I do pain will ensue upon more than one heart.

One day my wondering heart
Will find the hands
I that will cherish it
But how will I find those hands if I keep my heart so close to my chest?

Mistakes are inevitable,
Some bigger than others
But they are mine to make
As the lessons are mine to learn.

Days of loneliness will come,
Some heavier than others,
But they are here to show me
The difference between being lonely and being loved.

So this is me,
I don’t know what I want,
I don’t know who I am,
But I am exploring all facets of my truth on my terms.

The next time I’m asked who I am
I truly answer
With 100% certainty
Because I have reached that point by experiencing myself for myself.

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