To just sit here and be nothing,
To lie awake and stare at the ceiling,
Just counting the minutes for the night to settle in my body
And for my eyes to close temporarily,
Before they learn how to close forever.
To wrap myself up in this blanket of lonely apathy,
Of emotionless introversion…
Such a perversion of the self.
It always feels so easy to have a dreamless sleep,
Or to not sleep at all and just think;
Think about the times when smiles didn’t have to be forced,
When tears actually existed because there was genuine sadness,
Instead of a void.
It always feels so easy to embrace it.
Embrace the quietness,
Play some ugly music with hysterical vocals and messages of hatred.
Something with a piano.
Something more emotional than what I can be,
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