Pensive no longer

Pensively looking out the window,

Has been a stance I have adopted,

For years I sat gazing,

At the things I cannot have,

 

Negative emotion,

Is what it brought me,

And I was no closer to getting anything I wanted,

It only opened a world that needed solutions to problematic situations.

 

I have become increasingly intolerant,

As I came to a realization,

One of honestly and truth,

For myself,

 

I’m done.

 

I’m tired of taking in the wounded,

The emotionally hurt,

This presents a need for me to fix,

And heal them.

 

I cannot take on the weight of their baggage while still carrying mine,

I cannot continuously reassure a heart that refuses to be healed,

I cannot give security to someone that is controlled by their insecurity’s.

 

Sorrowfully thoughtful is no longer who I am.

 

I want to be selfish,

Because I also desire the happiness I wish to give,

Instead of me fixing the damages of others,

I want to grow with them.

 

I proclaim,

With clear enunciation as not to confuse you.

I require a soul that has the emotional and mental capacity to unpack and accept the depths of who I am.

I seek to join that soul in a simultaneous journey of discovery,

 

We will walk together,

We will come out victorious when faced with difficulty,

We will stand the test of time as we hold hands in this life and the next,

 

As a result I am done fixing those who do not desire it,

And I will become a companion to the one who will become mine.

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